If i should die before i wake
by Ashliiee
Summary: Harry Potter-Cullen is back home after three years away and he's... diffrent. no longer is he young and innocent instead he's sarcastic and cruel. will have BOYXBOY pairings, mpreg full list of warnings in 1st chapter!
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: there will be boyXboy love, mentions of mpreg and possible mpreg in the future, misuse of alcohol, drug use

I dont own!

over view of story:

harry potter was adopted by the cullens when he was three years old, becoming hadrian james potter-cullen. at 11 he get accepted into hogwarts and meets his godfathers and their family. at 12 he and his school friends start a band and get release their first CD when he's 13. the summer before his 4th year is the last time that he visits his family for three years. at 17, he visits home totally diffrent then he was from when he left. the cullens soon find that under his sarastic and cruel exterior is their youngest son just looking for help.

characters-

cullens

carlisle

esme

emmett

jasper

rosalie

alice

edward

hadrian james potter-cullen

lupin-blacks

sirius

remus

jonathan

draco

luna

swans

charlie

isabella

wolf pack

blaize zabini

dean thomas

ch.1

Esme Cullen sighed as she held the picture of her little boy in her ice cold hands.

The picture showed her youngest son at fourteen years old, with his bay horse Sidi, after a day of writing. Her little Harry looked tired and a bit sweaty, but his sweet smile could light up a room, even if it was just a picture. His messy black hair hung around his head, almost like a halo, and his emerald green eyes shown with youth and happiness… so much different then how her son was now.

Esme hadn't seen him in three years, and if he chose not to visit home during the upcoming summer, then it would be four. She only saw her beautiful baby boy in pictures on the internet and magazines, and she didn't like what she saw.

Her little boy had changed. Gone was his youthful and innocent appearance. He now dressed in dark colors, normally dark jeans, either a dark t-shirt or a button-up shirt, his leather jacket, and a pair of worn out black of dark blue converse. In one particular photo of her son jogging, Esme had seen a tattoo of a dragon on her sons back and what looked like the start of another tattoo on his waist. Her son's ear was pierced and his hair had gotten more curly then messy in the years when he hadn't visited… he son was all gown up and she had missed it.

In fact, Esme could still remember the last conversation she had had with her son in person, right before he had left home to go back to London and go to school at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry…

_"Mom?" Harry asked, biting his lip._

_"Yeah, baby?"_

_"I need to tell you something… I just don't know how to say it…"_

_"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Esme asked, pulling her youngest in for a hug._

_"I… I… Ed-"_

_"If we don't leave now were going to be late!" Esme's husband, Carlisle yelled from outside, where he was putting Harry's trunk in the car._

_"Just a moment! What was it that you wanted to say, Harry?" Esme asked._

_"…R-remember to send Sidi to Sirius and Remus, okay? Just in case Professor Dumbledore lets me visit them on the weekends."_

_Esme smiled. "Of course, Harry."_

_Harry smiled and walked to the door. "Mom?_

_"Yeah, Harry?"_

_"I love you._

_"I love you, too, baby." Esme said, smiling_

Looking back on that conversation, Esme wished that she would have questioned Harry more until she got a truthful answer. But, she never did… and she had to live with it every second of every


	2. chapter 2

A/N okay, I read the reviews and then I read Branwen777's story and while they **DO** seem very similar right now, I can tell you that they definitely do not end the same way, nor do they have the same pairings. I have actually had this idea for a while and while there are other people besides Branwen777 who have had the idea of the Cullen's adopting Harry and other people have also had the idea of Harry being in a band, I have no problem giving some of the credit to Branwen777.

He/she is a wonderful author and I cant wait to read more of his/her work. I mean no disrespect is saying this, but I feel as if I must.

Just because two people have a similar idea doesn't mean one has 'stolen' from the other. It would have been very much appreciated had those who accused me of 'stealing' Branwen777's work had asked first before jumping to conclusions.

Also, if I wish to make a list of the characters that will be in my story then I have that right. Seeing as I will not be using all the characters from both books I thought that it would only be fair to my readers to know what to expect.

thank you,

Ashliie


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own!

Harry sighed as he looked out the window of the private jet. Looking out over the water surrounding him he knew that his family would be upset with him at first, he hadn't been home for three years. But, he knew that they would forgive him… he knew Edward would forgive him.

Edward **WAS** the only one who knew why he left, after all…Edward would understand.

All those years ago, the day before Harry would leave for England, Alice had had a vision. A vision that she had chosen to hide from him, but, not before Edward had seen it. And, Edward… being the amazing older brother that he was, had told Harry.

"Harry, I need to tell you something!" Edward whisper-yelled.

"yeah?" Harry asked, petting his horse, Sidi.

"Alice… Alice had a vision… about you."

Harry's eyes widened, knowing that it must be bad if Edward sounded so sad. "'Bout what?"

"…Your mate."

Harry could still remember how scared he had felt, as well as… relieved. He was scared that he would never find his mate. Most powerful wizards found out that they had a mate on their 14th birthday and he… he hadn't. Now, he was heading to his families new home in Forks, Washington… where his mate was.

And, he was scared. Scared at how his family would react when they found out who his mate was. Scared of how his mate would act when they found out who his family was! He was just scared, scared of everything and nothing and anything at the same time and he didn't know how to handle it. He just wanted to be seven again, sitting on his daddy's lap with his head tucked under the blondes chin. He wanted to be huddled between his brothers safe and sound. He wanted to be sitting on his sister, Rosalie's desk as she and Alice giggled and put make-up on his face. He wanted to be standing on a chair in his mom's kitchen back in Alaska, helping her bake cookies and giggling when Emmett attempted to eat one.

He sighed once again and buried his head in his godfather, Sirius', jacket covered arm.

"You okay there, pup?" Sirius asked, worried for his seventeen year old godson.

""Yeah, I'm fine, Siri."

"You sure?"

Harry offered a fake smile. "Positive."

"If your sure, Ri."

"I am." he closed his eyes and listened to the soft snoring of his band mates, trying to ignore the whispered argument between his two godfathers, most likely about him.

'all I do is screw things up…why did mom and dad even adopt me? I'm so stupid. If Siri and Rem get a divorce it'll be all my fault.'

A/N who was expecting that? Did you seriously think Harry would end up with Edward? Not that I have a problem with that relationship… but I have much more in store for our dear Hadrian Potter- Cullen. I hope you enjoyed!


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